It is four thirty in the morning and I thought a blog post would be prudent. In all honesty my admin lady made me do it haha! Or at least kindly reminded me that it would be great to get one out and added to my website. So here it is.
I think this is a perfect opportunity to slice through the (although firmly unedited imagery on my socials
etc) beautiful shots of life as a forager, mother and self-employed woman that social media portrays us as sometimes. Life has been incredibly tough these last few years, but as Tellus Mater intends to do, it keeps on striving to provide hope via both its delivery of sessions encompassing wild food foraging and nature, and also as a way for me to have purpose in times of both joy and on the darker days too via nature.
Three days ago, I reached a new milestone which was a month of quitting smoking. I went cold turkey. No vapes or lead up preparation by cutting back. It had truly got to the point where it served no purpose, and the anxiety of smoking myself to death far outweighed the anxiety of what the fuck I would do without a smelly cigarette in my busy ADHD hands.
Ironically with the monies saved I have booked myself into counselling to deal with a few things too. Predominantly a narcissistic parent. And the tragedy of losing my beloved father to a rta when my eldest son was only three weeks old who he hadn’t yet met before that fated night.
Whilst Instagram et al will tell you it's all slices of ‘The Good Life’ over here with breads baking most days, shelves stacked with gorgeous wild foods and floaty images of me wandering with my basket and seemingly not a care in the world. I want all of you to know that I am you and you are me. We are all navigating this ‘being alive’ lark with our varying difficulties and traumas thrown in, and it is, in my humble opinion how we deal with them that defines our happiness.
It takes a LOT of hard work to get to a place where the pull of alcohol, drugs, comfort foods or similar doesn’t fill the void and cover the trauma. All be it poorly in truth and in an unsustainable manner for our overall well-being. But for me, and I hope you too, engaging more in nature can support you by harnessing its constant availability to you as a means of allowing you to explore letting go of what doesn’t serve you well, with nature as your guide and support to move forward and process the harder occasions in your life to allow you to heal.
Next week when my youngest is back in school I intend to go sing to the sheep and get grubby knees taking pictures of bugs. Do what works for you!
I wish you all a happy as heck day and offer lastly to you a reminder that you are stronger than you think and can do anything if you wish to.
Baby steps. X
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